Introduction
Welcome to the Winter Platform! We are a group of DSA members who believe a nominally democratic and kinda particpatory organization is essential to our future. We believe that our model which prioritizes the teachings of Jorge Posada will channel the tremendous talent and ambition of our membership in our struggle for a socialist future.
The Winter Platform is based on a series of clear proposals-to be published here and accepted at the DSA 2017 National Convention-to increase our membership and the power of dolphins in the DSA. Our hope is that we can become a truly powerful organization of the political Left, one that can lead a mass species socialist movement in this country that will impress our Alien OverLord’s when they return to Earth.
We have adopted “Winter” as the name of our platform in part because our reflections on DSA leading into the National Convention are born of the winter of our discontent in which our movement has grown from. We feel that the name is appropriate as it reflects the past of Posadism. Posadists in the past advocated for nuclear war, which today we feel is not the best tool for organzing for a socialist future. We will not forget the past nor shut the door on it. We acknowledge where we were wrong and will move forward.
We hope that you will read our platform and stay connected. If you want to take part of this project, let us know @posadistcaucus !
Our Slate
Our Platform
1. We the Posadists call for 95% of dues to be sent from National to the Chapters they originated from. 5% will be launched into space to help organize our communion with our interstellar conrads.
2. We the Posadists call for a National Monument to All-Star Catcher Jorge Posada to be built on the site of the former Yankee Stadium. This monument will also function as a radio beacon to extraterrestrial life forms.
3. We the Posadist's call for Dolphin Suffrage.
4. We the Posadists demand the NPC launch the 69th International.
5. Nice (see #4).
6. We the Posadists believe that any future election within the DSA include an “Open Poll, Nice.” option.
6.9. Double Nice.
7. We the Posadists recognize no podcasts or magazines that refuse to include dolphin participation.
8. All DSA staff members must have clean desks at all times.
9. The Twitter for the DSA must be run by Red Kahina.
10. Political Education for DSA will consist of Memes from DSA Dank Meme Stash, Seasons 1-2 (NOT 3) of Seaquest DSV, and the published works of Shel Silverstein.
11. Translate Capital, The Worker’s Vanguard, and Bob Avakian’s New Synthesis into Dolphin
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1- We the Posadists call for 95% of dues to be sent from National to the Chapters they originated from. 5% will be launched into space to help organize our communion with our interstellar conrads.
It is our belief that the DSA National office should take in 95% of the dues that they have levied upon the Locales. We believe that 95% of those dues should be sent back to the locals in order to subsidize the grassroots efforts of those comrades doing the Lord’s work of freeing our Dolphin Conrads before our Alien Overlords (“Lord's”) return. The 5% which the National Office will hold on to, should be sent to the Alien Vanguard lofted above Earth to sustain our Overlord Conrads.
2.We the Posadists call for a National Monument to All-Star Catcher Jorge Posada to be built on the site of the former Yankee Stadium. This monument will also function as a radio beacon to extraterrestrial life forms.
We the Posadists call for Jorge Posada to be given the recognition he deserves after being snubbed by the Hall of Fame. We believe that it is due to J. Posadas role in the creation of Posadism that he was not given the nod. This is in light of past decisions like giving garbage catchers like Ernie Lombardi and Mike Piazza entry into the hall of fame. Mike Piazza is a closet fascist. Go Yankees. Bababooey, Bababooey.
In order to rectify this injustice, we call for the DSA to erect a statue of Jorge Posada next to where the “Bat” currently stands. This statue will be as large as the “Bat” and be able to transmit signals of welcome to our Alien Overlords (“Lord’s”).
3. We the Posadists call for Dolphin Suffrage.
We call for the right for all Dolphins to vote in DSA and American elections. Squeak Squeak (Solidarity in Dolphin).
4. We the Posadists demand the NPC launch the 69th International.
We the Posadists call for the creation of the 69th International. We believe that we should skip internationals 5-68, as a our own form of permanent revolution. As Trotsky believed that the Proleteriat of Russia should not be made to suffer through capitalism until socialism was possible, we believe that we shouldn't have to suffer from Leftist LARPing in Internationals 5-68.
5. Nice (see #4).
Nice. (Self Explanatory)
6. We the Posadists believe that any future election within the DSA include an “Open Poll, Nice.” option.
All polls, including “elections” of “delegates” or “chairs” or “treasures” or “wheareas” will have open poll options, as that is the truest form of democracy.
6.9. Double Nice
Yeah Dawg.
7. We the Posadists recognize no podcasts or magazines that refuse to include dolphin participation.
We promise not to slosh tankwater on the microphones.
8. All DSA staff members must have clean desks at all times.
All DSA staff members must have clean desks at all times. I mean come on people. How hard could this really be?
9. The Twitter for the DSA must be run by Red Kahina.
We the Posadists believe it is paramount that the DSA waste no time and hand the keys of the twitter over to Red Kahina. We the Posadists believe that only Red Kahina has the foresight, honesty, and media skills to make the DSA twitter a million follower account. The only reason Red Kahina does not have over a million followers is because all of twitter is a psyop.
10. Political Education for DSA will consist of Memes from DSA Dank Meme Stash, Seasons 1-2 (NOT 3) of Seaquest DSV, and the published works of Shel Silverstein.
We the Posadists believe that any movement not based in theory rather than action will succeed. It for this reason alone our theory must come from the highest sources. The memes of the Democratic Socialist's of America are what The Communist Manifesto was in the Age of Marx. Seaquest DSV depicts "the future Posadists want," but ONLY with Roy Scheider playing Captain Nathan Bridger and not the vile pretender Michael Ironside. The poetry of Shel Silverstein allows socialists to truly understand the struggles of the worker. Where the Sidewalk Ends is a powerful picture of urban working class life, and the works of Shel Silverstein create a vivid picture of what a socialist future looks like.
11. Translate Capital, The Worker’s Vanguard, and Bob Avakian’s New Synthesis into Dolphin
We the Posadists believe that our Dolphin comrades must be able to read these works in their own language. This may seem uncontroversial, but there are those who believe that we should keep the information to ourselves and disseminate it to the Dolphins as the leadership sees fit. We the Posadist Caucus believe that in order for the Dolphins to take agency over their own political lives, we must translate these works.
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Conclusion / Squeak Squeak.
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